


Two Different Types of Falling

by shawnaasmith



Category: Criminal Minds
Genre: Aftermath of a Case, Amnesia, Coma, F/M, Hospitalization, Mentions of past self-harm
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-06-24
Updated: 2015-10-30
Packaged: 2018-04-05 22:40:31
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,854
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4197723
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shawnaasmith/pseuds/shawnaasmith
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Alice used to be a member of the FBI. She used to go out to the bar with Derek, she used to flirt with Spencer, she used to look up to Hotch like a father, and she used have movie nights with Elle, JJ and Garcia. That was before the case where she risked her life to save a young child, leading to her ending up in a coma and waking up with amnesia. Her family denied the team's contacted and tried to prevent Alice from remembering her past, afraid she will go back and get herself killed. What happens when three years later, Prentiss (unaware of her past) just so happens to order a delivery from the small shop she works at and she is forced to face her old team? Will she remember?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Meeting the Team... Again

**Author's Note:**

> Comments and constructive criticism welcome!
> 
> This is my first attempt at a fic, so please bear with me.

 Alice finished filling the glazed donuts with cream, packing them neatly into a bright pink box and heading out the door for the delivery. Her friend Emily had ordered a dozen donuts and the thought made her smile because she knew that Emily didn't even  _like_ the pastry, but figured that Emily didn't have much time outside of work to visit so a delivery would make a great excuse for a small chat. It had been nearly a month since she'd seen her and the weather was warming now to the point that Alice was forced to wear short sleeves. Brushing the pale strands of hair from her eyes, she pushed open the glass doors to the Quanitco FBI building, navigating her way through the place with surprising ease. She thought it was strange that no one questioned her being there, nor did they ask for identification. Alice didn't think much of it and soon she was turning the last corner just as someone else was, causing them to hit. 

 "Oh, I'm so sorry!" Alice apologized instantly, wincing at the Blackberry that now laid on the ground. She bent over to retrieve it, picking it up and handing it to the owner who just stood there with a look of shock and sadness on her face, eyes unblinking and mouth parted open. Alice frowned, "Is everything okay?"

 Snapping out of it, the lady's mouth closed into a tight smile and she grabbed back her mobile device. "Hi, I'm Agent Jareau, my friends call me JJ," she introduced herself and Alice nodded slowly, getting the feeling that Agent Jareau expected her to know her.  

 "I'm Alice."

 She saw a look of pain flash across her face at Alice's obvious confusion. "Pleasure to meet you, unfortunately I have somewhere to be." With that, JJ hurried around the corner, dialing on her mobile before holding it up to her ear and for some odd reason Alice thought she heard her name being said.

 

* * *

 

 To Alice's relief, she saw Emily through to glass doors and pulled it open, making her way to the cluttered desk with a strange sense of familiarity. Grinning, she set the box down on her desk. 

  
 "Hey, Em," she greeted, throwing her arms around the brunette who wrapped her own arms around her torso.

 "Oh, Alice, it's good to see you! It feels like ages," Emily sighed rubbing her back. The agent noticed Hotch standing on the upper level looking down at them and he looked mad almost, eyes fixed on Alice and she shot him a quizzical look. 

 "Hey! Are you supposed to be in here?" A deep voice rumbled and Alice pulled from Emily's grasp to see a man with dark skin and dark eyes, very handsome looking and very large. Alice could see his jaw clench and his eyes falling to her arms that she knew were littered with dark scars of her past. 

 "She's with me, Morgan," Emily told him, a hand resting on her back, the other held out in front of the man to calm him down as Alice moved her arms behind her back, feeling uncomfortable by the scrutiny. 

 The man, Morgan, ignored Emily and kept his gaze fixed on Alice, who stared at him back and she knew she should feel scared or threatened but she didn't. "I'm going to have to ask you to leave," he said, sounding like he was in a hurry and Alice nodded, giving Emily a side glance before stepping forward towards the man.

 Behind her, she heard something break and a drop of something hot hit her ankle. A broken voice spoke her name and she turned- how did he know her name? Her eyes met those sad, brown eyes and suddenly everything and nothing made sense and then she was falling.

 

* * *

 

  _The house was dark, being illuminated only by the flashlight attached to her gun and the occasional lightening that struck outside, the thunder and rain shaking the old, creaky house. Each step was careful and alert as her eyes darted around to every inch and crevice for danger, two other pairs of footsteps doing the same off to her right. Her torso was wrapped in a hard, blue vest, her hair tied back and a watch clasped around her scar-less wrist._

_"Clear!"  She hears from what she presumed to be the kitchen, the voice feminine, and a second later a deeper voice, male, repeated the word._

_Alice, gun steady and heart racing, made her way up the long, winding steps, turning the corner sharply with her gun, ready to shoot if the threatening perpetrator came into view. The lightening lit up the hall with a frightening boom and almost made her jump, she wasn't afraid of a lot of things but storms was one of them. She heard one of her teammates follow her up the stairs and she pushed open the nearest door open with her foot, her teammate brushing behind her to the next door, touching her neck gently in reassurance. The room was pitch black and she quickly scanned the room with the flashlight looking for danger and when she didn't see any, her mouth opened to yell 'Clear' but it caught in her throat._

_The lightening flashed through the window and brightened up the whole room for a split second and in that split second her eyes found a pair of lifeless ones, glaring at her, blaming her for not getting there in time. For not saving her._

 Alice's eyes shot open in panic, her vision blurred as she tried to get up, she had to save them, the children, she had to save them. 

 "Woah, girl, take it easy. You just passed out," Morgan hushed, pushing her back down, brow curved in confusion as his eyes glanced up at the young man that had such soft brown eyes, "Who do you need to save? What children?"

 She hadn't even realized she had been talking out loud and frowned, shaking her head.

"I... I don't know."

 


	2. Chapter 2

_"Hey, sis," Morgan greeted her with his ever-present grin and the ridiculous nickname he'd given her as he raised his coffee mug up to his lips, "Got any plans tonight?"_

_Alice laughed and sat down at her desk, straightening out the papers that were strewn across it, "Looks like I'm staying late tonight."_

_"Alice," Morgan started, setting his coffee down and moving to perch himself on the edge of her desk in front of her, "You are not spending your Saturday night here in the office. Live a little, you're just a kid."_

_Rolling her eyes, she shooed him off her desk. "I'll think about it, dork."_

_"Reid will be there,"  he teased with a laugh, moving out of hitting distance and Alice could feel her face heating in embarrassment._

_"Derek, leave her be!" Elle intervened, swatting him on the arm before looking at Alice, rolling her eyes exasperatedly, "_ Men _."_

* * *

"Derek," she whispered under her breath, staring at the man above her in confusion. "This may sound crazy but I think I know you. I- I have dreams about you." Alice's eyes swiveled across the team, "All of you."

Morgan looked up at another man, hair dark and eyes worried and she felt safe looking at him, almost like a child with her father. He held out a hand and she took it, nearly falling back down as soon as their palms touched.

* * *

_The air was cold and hateful, morning dew clinging to the grass and thickening the air with its presence. Everyone wore black, symbolic for death and Alice knew that her sister would have hated that, she despised the color black. She stood there, wearing a hideous pink dress that she knew Kate would have loved. Kate had been the only family she had and her passing wasn't fair to the world, they needed more people like Kate to make things better. Their parents had died with they were younger, murder- suicide, their mother wasn't right in the head. Arnold, their father had hid them in the attic while Susan, mom, was on a psychotic rampage. They heard the yelling and the first gun shot, listening to their father's pained sounds as he bled out, crying. Susan thought it would be better this way, for them all to go out as a family._ _Alice, age five, had gone down when her mother was no where to be heard, leaving Kate, age three, in the attic where she had fallen asleep. She tried to be quiet, she knew how to evade the creaky spots on the floor and she did so with ease, her small heart thumping hard in her chest._

_Alice had found her father's body and quickly called the police, she remembered learning how to at school. She hid behind the couch when her mother came back, searching for them, but as soon as the sirens were heard from the window, she took her own life right in front of her. The memories never went away. Now, she shut her eyes, a single tear sliding down her cheek. Drunk driver, is what the policeman said killed her sister. Of course, the drunk driver was unharmed, that was how fate worked. Shaking in the cold, she moved up and laid a single rose on Kate's casket, her hand lingering on the dark wood before stepping back. Alice nearly jumped when a hand slipped onto hers, squeezing her fingers softly. She looked up, her eyes meeting Hotch's and she squeezed his hand back, leaning into him. He was so considerate and he reminded Alice of her father, willing to do anything to protect his family._

* * *

 

Alice just stared at him, blinking at him with her large, blue eyes, unable to comprehend what was happening. She knew there were parts of her life she forgot, her aunt and uncle had told her that and they had sounded bitter and hateful about it, why didn't they want her to know? 

"You were at my sister's funeral," she told him, swallowing thickly, finally standing on her feet, "I remember you. Sort of. I remember you at the funeral, but I don't- your name-"

"Aaron Hotchner," he interrupted with a nod, keeping her steady on her feet. Emily watched in confusion, deciding she would ask questions later.

"I need to sit down. Is there somewhere where I could..?" Alice shifted on her feet, keeping her eyes fixed on the man in front of her. Aaron nodded and guided her to his office, leaving Emily and Morgan down on the floor alone, JJ had taken Spencer away for a little bit.

"Okay, now that she's gone, what the hell is going on?" Emily asked in a hushed tone, her arms crossed as she glanced up towards Hotch's office. Morgan sighed and put his hands over his face as he sat down in the nearest chair, shaking his head.

"It was my fault," he admitted softly, clenching his hands into fists in an attempt to keep himself together. "I should have been faster, then I would have saved her." 

"Sugar, it wasn't your fault," Garcia said suddenly, coming up behind the pair. "Everyone on the team blames themselves for what happened, nobody could have changed the outcome. She knew her chances." She rested her hand on Morgan's shoulder, her voice gentle and her eyes watery as she caught Emily's gaze. "Three years ago," Garcia started, Morgan's hand falling closed around hers on his shoulder, "she was on the team. There were complications and she ended up in a coma and her aunt and uncle demanded that she start a life away from the BAU once we learned she had woken up with no memory from the past decade. We disappeared. I kept tabs on her, we all miss her." Garcia sucked in a shaking sigh, wiping at her eyes, "Now, it seems she's starting to remember."

"No- she's been remembering. Do you see this scars covering her arms?" Morgan asked, swallowing thickly, "It's my best guess that she's been dreaming of the cases, that she's been dreaming of dead children and people and murders, rapists, stalkers, all of it and she doesn't remember a damn thing. She must have been terrified."

Emily sighed, closing her eyes. "I remember her mentioning her nightmares. I met her at the shop and we started talking and we became friends about a year ago."

"The worst part is- the case we had been working on, the murderer is still out there."


	3. Chapter 3

"I... What is she doing here?" Spencer asked desperately, his head falling into his hand, tugging his hair back. He had dated a bit after the tragic incident, a movie or dinner, sometimes a kiss, less often he would take someone back to his place. Currently, he was in a relationship and had been for about nine months but not even that had stopped the dreams of his long lost love. Seeing her was like a punch to the gut and he still couldn't really remember his girlfriend's name. 

JJ sighed and sat beside him, her pale arm wrapping around his shoulders as she placed a kiss to his forehead. 

"Looked like she was delivering doughnuts. Her and Emily seem to know each other, too," she told him, rubbing his back gently. Alice had been there when her grandmother had passed away. She had broken into her apartment (JJ still wasn't sure how she had managed that) and cleaned up her house, everyone knew that mess made her worse but she was always so disorganized when in distress. By the time JJ had gotten home, her house didn't remind her of a pit to hell and there was Doctor Who reruns on the television, ice-cream on the coffee table, and a pajama-wearing Alice on her love seat. That night was what helped her get through it. 

"Her arms, did you see them?" He asked quietly a few moments of silence, taking a deep breath. JJ nodded her head, of course she had seen them, they all had. "Do you think she's in a bad place? And we just abandoned her to this life of cruelty after all the love and care she had given us?" 

"No! Of course not, don't think like that," JJ scolded, her hand tightening around his arm briefly, "She looked... happy, when she first walked in. All bright and animated."

Spencer chuckled with little humor, "That's Alice for you."

 

* * *

 

The door closed behind her with a soft click and she collapsed on the couch that Hotch kept when he stayed overnight. Seeing Alice in front of him was difficult and wonderful at the same time. They all had missed her smiling face and her bubbling personality, she had even managed to get him to crack a smile here and there. It was hard to see her because each time he does, all he can see is her body colliding with the ground, bones cracking and Morgan's screams for her from four stories up. Everything had seemed to go still in that moment and somehow he was crouched beside her limp body, checking for a pulse. There was so much blood and before he could even think, EMT's were surrounding him and taking her away, a concerned Reid sprinting around the corner with confusion on his face. It wasn't a good memory.

Clearing his throat, he proceeded.

"Would you like some water?" He asked her, inwardly wondering about the scars covering her arms. After receiving an affirmative nod, he went to his mini-fridge and took out a bottle of cold water before handing it to her. "It might help if you start talking about things that you are familiar with. Tell me what's going on in your life."

Alice took a drink of the water and cleared her throat. She trusted him and knew that they had a bond despite her not knowing him. Everything was so confusing. "Well, I live with my aunt and uncle and I work at the doughnut shop down the street," she said before the thought that she was still actually working crossed her mind and she jumped up, nearly toppling over, "No! My shift isn't over I have to get back-"

"I'll explain to them that this is a special case," Aaron interrupted, gesturing for her to lay back down as he sat in his own chair. "Please continue."

Nodding, Alice complied. "Nothing really happens to me. Other than the nightmares." She saw Aaron's eyebrows raise, clearly waiting for an explanation. "I have these nightmares about finding dead bodies or shooting someone or just seeing the absolute destruction a psychopath can leave in their wake and I have no idea where these are coming from. Now that I think about it- I think I've dreamt of you before, and that man downstairs and Agent- oh, what was it? - Agent Jareau? Which is odd, I don't recall ever meeting any of you."

Hotchner listened carefully as Alice spoke, frowning in sympathy. He opened his mouth to reply but she was already continuing.

"And then there's the red man." 


End file.
